i think just following the natural progression of civil rights is what we're asking for. we want to serve in the military and we want our marriage to be legal and recognized. that's all we're basically asking. >> cenk: you got married in 2010 in washington, d.c. where you could get married but yet you have the situation why the defense of marriage act which creates significant problems in the military. josh how has it affected you? what are things that you don't get as a husband that other husbands in the military would get. >> i think what was most impactful was when steve was serving in iraq. it's difficult for anybody over in iraq. it's difficult for the spout. that's while don't ask/don't tell was still--it had not been repealed yet. reaching out trying to find help to deal with it, it just wasn't something that i could do. then even when stephen returned, don't ask don't tem was repealed, and we were invited to a yellow ribbon, which was amazing, but the counseling and opportunities to get through it as a married couple was not afforded to us because our children was